Becoming magnetic

An admission: for nearly a decade I invested a lot of time, attention, and money into my people skills, specifically charm and charisma. Mostly, I wanted pretty women to like me. I’m a naturally shy guy and I used to obsess over what people thought of me. I wanted to be able to draw people’s attention and adoration to me like a tractor beam. My unrealized logic was that if people liked me, I would enjoy life and like myself. Since then I’ve learned that I had the formula exactly...

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The path and paradox of confidence

***  Five days before my first professional speech, Montreal: I’m at Hurley’s with a few friends. It’s a fairly normal evening. We’re not talking about anything in particular.   Out of the blue, it hits me: soon I will be standing on stage, for an hour, in front of hundreds of people. It will be my job to hold their attention and provide value to their lives. My heart starts racing, my breathing gets thin. I’m having a small panic attack. I step outside to stea...

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Three weeks alone in Costa Rica

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.” –Albert Camus In late January I packed a small bag, left my laptop at home, turned my phone off, and went to Costa Rica for three weeks. This wasn’t a trip to explore the world, find adventure, or immerse myself in culture. It was a trip to find the parts of myself that I had been hiding away, to recenter, and to turn the volume on life way, way down. For about a year I had known that something was ...

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Stop whispering

Before we begin: this is the latest article in a series on modern leadership mastery. The course overview and links to previous articles can be found here. The next step in leadership mastery is the easiest for me to describe but one of the hardest to actually do. By now, you should have found your truth (or at least one of your truths) and started to work on the psychological blocks that hold you back from taking action. Now your job is to stop whispering and start shouting You want a mentor to...

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Impossible, different, and not enough: the myths that hold us back

Note: this is the second article in a 12 article series on leadership mastery. You can find the overview and links to previous articles here. I wish it were easier. It seems like the formula should be: find your truth, pursue it, and then go conquer the world. But it never really works that way. At least not for me. For me it’s more like: find your truth and then think about starting, and then have a crisis of confidence, and then maybe, several weeks later (or months, or years…), pu...

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