The no BS Guide to Self Love part 3: you’ll know you’re doing it right when… and resources that work
All of the strategies explained in part 1 and part 2 are strategies that I actually used to get my life on track and learn to love myself. In Nov of 2013, ostensibly, I had it all. In reality, I was miserable.
Now, a little less than a year later, and my life is so much better. Most of the time, I wake up excited for the day, feeling as though I have the opportunity to create something awesome.
Is my life perfect? Absolutely not. There are plenty of things that I’d like to change. But the important part is that I’m enjoying the ride and I feel like I have the power to make those changes.
I share this, because I want you to understand that these strategies work. They worked for me, they’ve worked for the friends and family I’ve shared them with, and most relevantly, they’ll work for you.
Before we close the chapter on this series of learning to love yourself, I want to share one last thought…
What I learned from three years traveling the world
I spent the majority of 2006 – 2009 travelling the world. When I think back on that experience, I really only learned one thing of significance about the world: humans are fundamentally similar to one another.
We all want to laugh, to love, to feel important, and have a few good people in our corner. Sometimes it’s hard to see that because we wear masks as individuals and our cultural differences create a sense of distance that doesn’t really exist.
But beyond that, there is a deeper reality about the human experience, and that is that we are all in this together. We are bound to one another. We belong to one another.
The separation between you and I, the separation between you and anyone else – that separation is an illusion. We are all connected by countless threads.
When you take the time to love yourself, you’ll naturally emerge as a leader. You’ll find the path that is right for you, and move down it swiftly. People will be drawn into your atmosphere.
When you take the time to love yourself, inevitably you’ll be drawn to loving and helping other people in ways that make sense for you. Because the truth is, you can’t fully love yourself without loving other people. And likewise, you can’t fully love other people without loving yourself. Our universal connection makes it impossible to have one without the other.
When you take the time to love yourself, you’ll begin to see the infinite layers of connection between all people. You’ll reject mediocrity and accept excellence, both for yourself and for the people whose lives you impact.
The first step is learning to love yourself.
You know you’re doing it right when…
You’ll know you’re doing it right when your internal reality is reflected in your external reality. You’ll know you’re doing it right when you want the same joy and success and happiness for other people that you want for yourself.
The only question that really matters….
I don’t know what your religious beliefs are, but I believe this: when you die, there is really only one question that matters and one question that your life will be evaluated on.
That question: did you love?
When I started learning how to love myself, I read a lot on the topic. Honestly, most of the books and articles sucked. They offered advice that was either so obvious they were stupid (one article suggested practicing good hygiene) or so detached they were useless for anyone who actually lives on Earth (another article suggested getting in touch with your spirit animal to guide you).
Fortunately, there were a few resources that were well worth it.
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
- Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh
- A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield
- Play it Away by Charlie Hoehn
- Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on it by Kamal Ravikant
- Choose Yourself by James Altucher
- The Artists Way by Julia Cameron